Monday, June 11, 2007

If the Road to Hell

is paved with good intentions, then I'll be there in record time. My road is no super highway with interchanges, clover leafs (leaves?), on-ramps and definitely no off-ramps. There are no potholes, no caution signs, no curves and no stop lights. It is Green to Go all the way. My road's straight as an arrow. It lacks rest stops, school crossings, zebra crossings and round abouts. There are no scenic byways, no signs indicating points of interest or historic places, no battlefields, or commemorative plaques. No one has left one bit of history along my road. Famous generals, explorers or pilgrims have never been within shouting distance. No bridges exist and certainly no warning signs for moose, elk, deer or the occasional duck or armadillo x-ing. There is nothing sentimental about my road. It's no Route 66. There are no kicks. It's all business.
I present an abbreviated notation of my Good Intentions:

Hunt down all of my magazines, organize them or donate them to the library
Do some harvesting in the frig.
Re-wash the load of clothes I left in the washer two days ago
Organize my work room (oh, that'll take about a week)
Hide my husband's beer cans that are taking over the carport
Put some of my books in the bookshelf (now there's a new concept)
Make the bed before 4:00p.m.
Wipe the dog hair off of the toilet seats
Actually employ the Swiffer Duster
Take the pile of new fabric off of the piano bench and put it somewhere (?)
Find the vacuum cleaner

Should you at any time, on any given day, hear the break of the sound barrier or suddenly feel all of the oxygen being sucked out of the air around you, do not be alarmed. Try to stay calm and know that before you can even wave, it's merely me at Mach speed, all Hypersonic,tearing ass down my Road to Hell.


Marisa said...

I hear you on the laundry fun. Just don't forget your quilting fabric in there! ;)

Unknown said...

Ellen, Thanks for your very kind comment on my blog. I LOVE your sillyness and Amy will too! It is great to smile & laugh.. You sure do have a way with words, I've so enjoyed reading them. Hope you have a fun day :-} ~Mary~

Judy G. said...

I only do major cleaning when I am entertaining. I entertain so I will clean. Husband and son don't seem to notice, and I have a high dirt/doghair/clutter tolerance, so I subscribe to my sister's philosophy: Dull women have immaculate houses. You and I, Ellen, are not dull women.