Friday, September 9, 2011

Leaving Home to Go Home...

...to the Big Island in Hawaii.
Going up tomorrow
to Portland. 
Flying out early on 9/11.
Yikes.
My husband will drop me off
at a hotel/motel near the airport.
I will see my beloved brother,
nieces, grand nieces and nephews.
Do I want to leave this beloved place?
No.
Do I want to see that other beloved place?
Yes.
Will I cry when I see the greeness,
the water, the glory of the mountains, 
the rain forests,
the waterfalls, the ginger and
the old familiar?
Yes. 
Am I conflicted?
Yes.
Is it important?
Yes.
Is it the home of my little girl heart,
my almost big girl heart,
when I left to go to college at eighteen?
Yes.
Is everything the same?
No.
Will it be special?
Yes.
Is it the home of my grandparents and
father and mother?
Yes.
Does my brother have 
a washing machine?
No.
Do I have enough clean underwear?
???
Will I forget to take something?
Yes.
Have I found my camera bag?
No.
Do I have my camera?
Yes.
Will I miss my computer and lovely readers?
Yes.
Do I have a laptop?
No.
Will I  be excited to get back to see
what all of you are doing?
Yes.
Will I love the beauty that I see, 
and miss the beauty that is here?
Yes.
Do I send all of you love?
Yes!

best to all, e/.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

A Birthday

Today is my father's birthday.
 He was a good and loving man.
I was 30 when he died.
I missed him fiercely for years.
Daddy taught me many things...
look people in the eye,
have a firm grip when you shake hands,
love your family and friends,
and show them with actions
and words...everyday.
I cannot recall a day in my life
when I didn't hear Daddy say
to us all,
"I love you."
He certainly wasn't perfect.
Neither am I.
I like to think that I have all of the good
that was in him,
and recognize some of the not so good.
He is in my veins, 
he flows through me everyday,
not in a conscious way, 
but I know he is here in me
and in my children.
I treasure his sense of humor,
his delight in the small things,
and the child like wonder of this world
he never lost.
Thank you, Daddy, for all you
gave to us.
best to all, e.



Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Otherwise...Another Poem...

This photo may not have much to do
with this poem,
except that is exemplifies
the exuberant colors of living,
and the starker images of loss.
I hold these words dear
because they help to remind me
that everyday I have something,
many things,
to be grateful for.

Otherwise
I got out of bed
on two strong legs.
It might have been
otherwise. I ate
cereal, sweet
milk, ripe flawless
peach. It might
have been otherwise.
I took the dog uphill
to the birch wood.
All morning I did
the work I love.

At noon I lay down
with my mate. It might
have been otherwise.
We ate dinner together
at a table with silver
candlesticks. It might
have been otherwise.
I slept in a bed
in a room with paintings
on the walls, and
planned another day
just like this day.
But one day, I know,
it will be otherwise.

The incredible Jane Kenyon again.
It is for me, everyone who visits,
and  a dear new friend who knows
about Otherwise.
 best to all, e. 

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Which Door Should I Choose?

I have a day all to myself.
Can you hear my squeal of joy?
Freedom comes with making hard choices.
Which door should I choose?
Door #1

Doesn't every well-appointed home
have an artful display of riding helmets
and gloves perched on an unfinished window seat?
And one which is framed by dirty glass?

How about Door #2?
The infamous laundry room.

Perhaps. It's doable, but I could just close the door.
Then there is Door #3, my sanctum,
which is far from peaceful.
One must accept the fact
that when one cleans and purges,
one creates a Hell of a mess in the process.

Nah. Why not put off today
what I can do tomorrow?
Door #4, however, looks promising
and easily done while alone.
Definitely. A Done Deal.
It's Door #4.
I can spice it up
with a little bit of this...
Sometimes you just have to get tough
and bite the bullet.
best to all, ellen