A Short Note

Dear Coats and Clark....specifically All Purpose, Dual Duty, ART.210 XC 161,
May I take this opportunity to tell you to what extent you have ruined my afternoon of sewing. I would prefer to swear here with gusto and conviction, but I have all ready done that, right before I turned off the machine, the lights, closed the door and stomped down the hallway in a proverbial huff!
I was blaming my poor innocent sewing machine and my stupidity, only to realize that after six attempts to fill the bobbin, and one attempt at a long seam, that it is entirely your fault. If this were winter, I would throw you in the wood stove in an instant, and with great glee. You are brand new, pregnant with thread, but refuse to cooperate because: that damned doohicky notch on you catches the thread every time. I have tried to "sand" that slot down with a finger nail file. It hasn't worked. I hate that groove anyway. It takes an act of God to find it in the first place, and then another miracle to release the end of the thread from said groove.
The obvious solution would be to turn you around so that the slot is on the opposite side of the thread as it's released...but that doesn't work on my machine. It has to feed one way and one way only. I am unsure at this point what awaits you, but at this juncture, it feels as if you may be facing a violent death...and one which I may prolong, just to torture you as much as I possibly can.
I am going to play in the sprinkler. Don't you dare move from that spot, don't even think about it for an instant. You are in Time Out!
No sincerely, no love, no solicitations,
Ellen