Sunday, June 17, 2012

A Tree Fell In The Forest...

....and I wasn't there.
Minds of a Philosophical and Zen-ish bent
may question whether the tree made a sound,
or whether it existed.
Yesterday I was in those woods.
I took the following pictures
of fading wild flowers,
seed heads,
and bits of Nature that I cannot even
give a name to.

I know the fading lovely Bleeding Heart.
I know the Morning Glory bud.
I well know the Spittle Bug's Spit.
I know the Maple's wings.

Now, I know the Sound of One Hand Clapping.
I have always known the sound of two.
I could very well have been under that tree.
She was old, as I am.
She was ready to go and went
back to Mother Earth who gave her life.
I am definitely not ready,
but it comes to all.
Oh, this sounds depressing.
I do not mean it to be.
As far as I know,
I am just fine and fit
as a (Hush, Shssshsss)
Seventy Year Old.
(damn, there I said it!)

best, e.

p.s  this bit of disclosure about my age has been
difficult. I don't know why, because why should I 
be ashamed to be this age?
I am not ashamed.
I am amazed and very grateful.
I have had a longer life than my parents did,
and for that I have been very sad.
I lost them in my mid thirties.
I do, still feel as if I am twentish,
or on some days six or fifteen, twenty one,
or thirty.
It is only when I pass the mirror.
I wonder who that person is?
I cannot possibly be that woman.
I am still climbing trees and beating the
boys by running faster.
I can still climb the guava tree at home
and get up on the tall roof.
I can still break my older brother's finger
playing football with him.
I can still hop the rocks and dash amongst
the bamboo forest of our Manoa house 
in Hawaii.
Not really, as you know.
Some days, I think the Blogville
belongs to the young.
But then, I hear from you, my dearest readers,
and know that I am so blessed to have met
such beautiful and loving women that you all are.
Some days, I have such problems with computers
and this space.
But, I love it and feel proud that although
I am such a rotary dial girl, never had a lesson on a computer,
 I am doing o.k.
There are so many things I don't know how to do,
but this space and your goodness has been so wonderful.
And all of you who come here
are so very important to me.
With love, e.


Ginnie said...

Phew! Here I was, all set to comment on your gorgeous pictures (and I only recognize a few, the spittlebug foam among them, darn it), when I read your closing remarks. Hurray for you, and thanks for being an inspiration to all of us who follow you! For a rotary dial girl, you do quite well, Ms. Ellen, quite well indeed!

I agree that our age is strongly determined by our attitudes, so I think you'll be in your twenties for years to come. In the book "Mindfulness" by Ellen Langer, she cites a research project she led decades ago with a group of frail, older men. Took them out of town for a few days and told them to pretend they were twenty years younger, had magazines and tapes of TV shows from that era, had discussions of "current" events from twenty years ago... and they PHYSICALLY improved their health. BP, heart rate, length of fingers for those with arthritis, etc., all improved, as though they were turning back the hands of time.

You are definitely on the right path, Ellen - you go, girl!

Mousy Brown said...

Thank you for your kind comments on my photos...they really are nothing in comparison to yours, these are stunningly beautiful! I am 41 but my just about best friend at the moment is 83, we sit and chat and giggle and I knit and she is just learning to crochet...I don't feel that different from her and despite things being a touch more difficult physically I don't think she feels that much different from me...I am off to read a bit more of your blog and see some more of those photos...have you re-discovered the handstitching yet? :D

Babs, Jo, John said...

So Ellen you have hit the nail on the head re how important
people think age is! us girls of a certain ilk have a lot to give
and a lot to learn about our lives it never ends. We have the
courage and sometimes a little time to show and write
what blessings there are around us and you especially
have a wonderful way to help us appreciate those things in life that our Young Un's barely have time to see.

remember if 50"s is the new 40's by heck we're in the new60's. Babs

jackie said...

big cheesy grin here!! why indeed is it so hard to confess our ages? life would be so one dimensional if we only consorted with people in our own age range. your attitude and your gentle loving willingness to share your perspective (more valuable than gold to me!) are a gift! and i consider you a mentor, a friend, a surrogate mother, and someone that i can only hope to emulate as i continue to age myself. 48 and counting, but i'll still ocassionaly wrestle my 13 year old, ride a bike, climb a tree, jump off a cliff into the lake, etc...

Annie Cholewa said...

Ever since we 'met' over at knitsofacto I have been reading here via Bloglines, hence the shortage of comments, but somehow I missed this post!

I LOVE your blog, and it feels as if it were written by a woman wiser than me but not two decades older than me. A woman still eager to find all the joy life has to offer. I hope when I am 70 I can be the same. Accepting new challenges, willing to keep trying, and happy to share what I discover on life's path.

I know people in their 40s who are 'older' than you. People who grump and complain and are sour and joyless. Your age really is just a number!

By the way, do you know Jean Mile's blog, Jean's Knitting (you can find it via the Coffeehouse page at knitsofacto). She's some years older than you and she doesn't just blog about knitting :D

Grammy Braxton said...

You are such an inspiration. I am so glad I found your blog and I am impressed with you. I don't think I could do a blog and I'm sort of proficient on the computer. As we say in South, "Ya'll done good!"