Decomposing, But Not Gently.......

I tripped the other day and in the ensuing fall, managed to crack my ribs. This is the third time I have done so...to the same pitiful, vulnerable ribs.
The first time was years ago when I was practicing wrestling moves with my son. The second time occurred about nine years ago when an overly enthusiastic toddler landed on me while I was lying on the floor in front of the fire. Laughing, coughing or even yawning brings tears to my eyes.
To add insult to injury, my bad right knee is constantly reminding me of its presence and my arthritic right elbow sends me SOS messages every time I carry wood in, lift something or bend it the "wrong" way.

Someone once said, "Getting old ain't for sissies." Here, here! What a wise sage.

Other than that, I am just Jim Dandy. God forbid, I could be buying boat loads of Depends at Costco.


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Joining In

I am way behind on the Encyclopedia of Me Meme that BellaDia has launched, but I was out of town and I do want to participate in this fun.
I am going to just Amble through A today. Some of my favorite things begin with A:Acorns, Asparagus and Artichokes. Oh, and not to forget that I also love Avocados.
I am Amazed at the following: The Abundance that is present in my life...family, good friends, space and time now to not be scheduled, my home that I love so much, the beauty that surrounds me every day, my health and so many blessings too numerous to count! I am Amazed to be the Age I am. How in the world did I get here? How did I Arrive at this stage in my life when it seems like only yesterday I was jumping rope, climbing trees and playing jacks. Only yesterday I finished school, got married, had babies and turned 30, then 40, then 50 and more. Here I am in Astonishment. Here I am getting Attention from AARP, from the Neptune Crematorium Society, from the Afterglow Funeral Home!!! I don't feel that Aged. I still Ask questions, I still don't know the Answers. I'm still Absurd at times and I am still taken Aback by this Adventure that is my life. Amen!

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Life Stages As Food

If you read my blog, you will know that my mind (convoluted and wandering) often takes me to very strange places. I need to say this up front so that you will be able to get a clue as to how I end up where I end up (that's certainly clearly stated, Ellen).
The other morning after my shower, I was applying a little blush, just a touch, because at sixty five one certainly has to be careful and tasteful with one's makeup. I thought to myself, "I believe I've heard that you are to apply blush to the Apples of your Cheeks."
I leaned closer to the mirror and tried to find the Apples of my Cheeks. For the life of me, I couldn't locate them. I believe that they simply dropped, faded or just left town when I wasn't looking. That led me to ruminating on the stages of my life and how they might be described as, or compared to food. I'm pretty sure that the following come close to representing my journey.

In Utero: Toad in a Hole

Infant/Babyhood: Bubble and Squeak, Flummery

Early Childhood: Peach Crisp, Jelly Tot, or Snickerdoodle

Adolescence/Early Adulthood: This stage escapes me. I would have liked to have been a Bombe, but alas, I didn't have the equipment.

Adulthood/Middle Aged: I've been a Nut Bar, a Fool, now and then a Crab Apple, On rare occasions, Stewed, Toasted or Deviled. When pregnant, I've been a Pudding and a Jelly Roll.

Mature Adult (euphemism for old): Again I'm not sure, but I suspect that one of these mornings when I'm leaning close to the mirror I'll realize that I've become an Apple Pan Dowdy, a Crumble, or God forbid, a prune.

(thank goodness that I have been the wrong gender to become a Spotted Dick!)

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It's Too Late to Close the Barn Door

.....the horse has already escaped!
That's what I thought about this morning after I took my shower and was putting on my lotion. I finally noticed that this lotion claims to have anti-aging properties. Who could tell? I examined another product that promotes itself as Age Defying...promising to reduce fine lines, to rejuvenate tired skin. I realized why these wonderful products have no relevance or use in my personal skin care regime. It's too darned late! You can't prevent what's already happened.
That led me to the greatest epiphany I've experienced in a long time...The understanding finally, as to why I never developed much more than a weeny set of breasts. I'll let you in on my discovery: It's because I never had a training bra! If you don't train something, how can you ever expect it to grow and bloom, or to reach its full potential. It was a forehead slapping moment of discovery! And that's why I say it's too late to close the barn door!
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