Sunday, September 29, 2013

Dear Ones

Dear Readers,
I want to thank you for your generous support, your goodness,
graciousness and your loving words sent my way.
I am finding it hard to express
my gratitude and the feeling of warmth
and comfort I have received from you.
We all struggle at times, I do know that.
I hope that I could and would do the same
in return to all of you.
I am doing much better.
I know that I may never, ever understand my beloved brother
when I talk to him on the phone.
Strokes happen.
I went up last Saturday
to see my sister.
It was a good visit,
but the onset of dementia is frightening.
Disappearing ink covers the pages
of so many collective memories...
and who will be left to read them with me?
It has been both difficult
and wonderful to be back at school, 
but who can comfort a mother
who's son was involved in an accidental shooting
with a hunting rifle...
and the same person who lost her sister-in-law
two days later. She was also a friend
and had worked in my school office for years.
I had all of their children in my classroom.
And, my feral kitty, "No Ears",
who has been here for several years,
the one who finally came close enough
to my hand when I fed him...
to feel his soft (tho. ratty) fur
brush up against my hand.
He must have crawled up into my car,
because the next day 
I drove to the post office...
at a distance of nearly seven miles.
When I stopped, I saw a grey streak
run out from under the car.
I knew at once what had happened.
Tears all the way home
and the feeling of such responsibility.
There is a part of me
that keeps hoping he will turn up.
It's the heart part..the brain knows better.
So, enough here about sadness
and heartache.
I am so behind on reading
and leaving comments,
and I have this silly feeling
that I should never post
until I have left a message of thanks to all of you.
I will stop soon and leave you with
some lovely photos of the sky
at my sister's.
And, guess what?
I took them with my phone!
I have never done that before.
Also, if you have blueprints for building an ark,
please send them my way.
It has been an absolute gully-washer
for the last two days
and I am not happy with Mother Nature
who is ruining the colors of my favorite time of year.
Love times ten, E.
Here are the clouds. 
I hope you enjoy them.

Again and again,
you have eased my heart.
I have been reminded that we
are here for such a short time
and that time is filled with such beauty
along with some pain.
It is the human condition,
but aren't we blessed to hold that which is lovely
and comforting and surprising and wonderful?
Such life filled with wonders
and thankfulness, and the beauty
of the world with clouds, rain, sunshine,
color, warmth and.............
E. with so many xoxoxox's


Angy is my name. said...

Lovely lady...
The raw honesty of your words has moved me deeply. Clearly this is a season of mourning you are in and soon the season of rejoicing will return. It has to be. It is law, it is nature, it is LIFE. We cannot possibly know any of these heart matters, these deep feelings, these sorrows and wonders and tears and hope.. without the contrast of life. I too am going through a rough patch at the moment and through it all the love and support from friends, family and fellow bloggers has been such an amazing source of strength and hope for me. I keep the mantra "This too shall pass" on my lips most days and long for time to pass a little quicker. Yet deep down I know that if all this sadness can be measured and felt then it is proof that so too can joy. I am sending you a special prayer today - but it comes with great power, great magic and great heart. It is filled with HOPE and sunny days and smiles and furry friends. Blessings, light and love.... and a hearfelt thanks for sharing your true self with us. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Anonymous said...

I am behind in my visiting, as well, and as I read this, my heart began to beat faster and tears began to well in my eyes.

There are times when we stand in the middle of life, throw our hands in the air and wonder "why". And many times - most of the time - we don't have the answers to life. But I believe with all of my heart that God does and though it makes no sense to us (right now), there is a lesson, a blessing, a reason, a purpose, a point to all that we endure.

Blessings to you, my dear friend.

Dina (

maggiegracecreates said...

Oh that phrase "dissappearing ink covers the pages"

I love you my friend --- prayers and peace being lifted.

Mrs. Micawber said...

Dearest E - everything I would like to say has already been said, so well, by the commenters above.

We love you. And thank you for the beautiful cloud photos. :)

Anonymous said...

i'm so glad that you are feeling better.
and, i don't know if it will bring you comfort, but it helps me to write my beloved Jon and sister and others who have passed.
And i will pray for your dear four paws return.

Beetlebirdhare said...

Gosh Ellen, you must feel overwhelmed. I can't really add anything that hasn't already been said so eloquently by the previous comments. My heart goes out to you xxx

Annie Cholewa said...

All I can add are hugs from a distant friend, and my thanks for your words and your images x

Anonymous said...

Hello Ellen, well the month of September gave us a sad hard road to walk. I thank you for your kind words that you left on my blog. I would imagine that you, like I will take it one day at a time. Find a joy in each day, smile at a memory and laugh if you can. Thankyou for sharing this. You are in my thoughts.x

Ginnie said...

I'm glad you're back with us, Ellen. I get great comfort from my blogger friends who I will probably never meet ... and I am glad that we are there for you too. Love you.

Deb said...

I lost my mother to dementia a few years ago and understand the frustration and sadness you are feeling. I hope life brings you some comfort soon.

Grammy Braxton said...

Dear Ellen, it was so sad to read of all that has happened. I have missed you and hope you are feeling somewhat better these days. I cherish your blog and your words and your emails. Take care, dear sweet lady, and know that I am here thinking of you and sending warm, loving thoughts to you.

Love and hugs,

Amy said...

I was reliving my past life as a blogger and i came across a comment of yours. Here I am to visit and am struck with the pain you have experienced. I am sorry beyond words, but am glad that you are still posting, sharing photos, and receiving comfort from caring readers.

Amy from Ibbybee