R.I.P.

Dear Robert,
May you rest in peace you faithful little servant of dust, dirt, dog hair and general grunge remover. I miss you. I miss your persistence and assistance, your cheerful little motor, your lightness and maneuverability. You ingested tons of unwanted grit in your day. You gladly soldiered on through thick and thin. I have a replacement for you now although you will never be replaced in my heart. This newcomer is heavy and unwieldy and does not possess your charm. Thanks for the miles and for always being there for me. We all go out eventually. You did your best by me. Thanks old friend!
Dear Mr. C.
I cannot say that I will miss you. I am glad that you are gone. I was so tired of you widdling on my counter top every morning, I was tired of your lid that always fell off. You were not a good servant like Robert. You had no heart. You have been replaced by a much simpler machine and he is behaving quite well so far. He has not messed on my counter and he produces a lovely, hot and aromatic drink for me without complaint or bad behavior.
Dear Dryer,
I am sorry that you have had to sit idle for so long. (You have no idea how sorry.) I feel uncomfortable that your innards are exposed to all who pass by you. I know that you did not intend to start eating our clothes, nor did you set out to howl and screech when I urned you on. You just need a bit of surgery, some new parts and you'll be as good as new. I promise it won't be too much longer before we'll have you warmly spinning and doing what you've always done best. Meanwhile, please pray for sun.