Sunday, July 21, 2013

Going To The Dogs...

Three guesses as to what this is...

Actually, I should have written,
as to what this was.
Here is a little poem
to help explain,
with apologies to Shelley.

To a Napkin

Hail to thee blithe beauty
Thou who art no more
In the golden morning
I found thee on the floor.

Thee graced the table daily
Thee brightened up the meal
Now thou art so damaged
With holes I cannot seal.

I stitched thee with such pleasure
And pressed thy seams with care
With guilt I do remember
I left thee on the chair.

I used thee with abandon
And dabbed the drops of gruel
The dog she up and ate thee
A fate that was so cruel.

Hail to thee blithe napkin
I'm sad thou art no more
I'll fold thine old companions
And close them in the drawer.
(May be sung with gusto to the very first musical strains of In the Bleak Midwinter, if desired.)

The guilty party is our 
Newfie, Tracker.

We have had her for several months
and she came with a warning label...
"Counter Surfer".
She is all of that, and more.
The bread basket is no longer in use.
Bread is now stored in a drawer.
The kitchen trash can is now 
a plastic bucket kept under the sink.
May I give you a money making tip?
Buy shares in Duct Tape
as the freezer drawer underneath the frig
now has to be taped closed.
I tried putting a heavy weight
and a dining room chair in front
of that drawer,
but she just moved them to one side
and helped herself
to bags of frozen peas,
pasta and blueberries.
The tape, thus far, is working...
when I don't forget to use it.
She is affectionately referred to
as "Speed Bump" as you
can tell by how big she is.
At 128 pounds, she takes up
a lot of space.
She is, however, the sweetest girl,
without a mean bone
in her body.
As is her darling cousin, Rett..
who sits outside as she tells me,
"I didn't do it. Promise!"

We do love them so.
They are such affectionate
and gentle beings
who enrich our lives.

Wishing all a glorious week.


Mona said...

What a sweet, fluffy big moth you got there!! I thought it was a moth eaten wool blanket on the first pictures ;)

Sirpa said...

Oh! Lovely dogs anyway, and much more important than any blanket! :)

J & B said...

Lordy,you really have a handful with this puppy!
but when you love them what can you do one soppy
look from them of total innocence and your done for!
Duct tape has saved the day for now! Obviously very
intelligent I wish you lots of luck!

maggiegracecreates said...

oh fun ---- our Rusty is not bad about that kind of thing. Thank goodness.

your pups are so sweet and innocent looking - but I know they aren't always as innocent as they look.

Have a wonderful day --- scruff them both for me.

...Nina Nixon... said...

Oh! I guess it's the dog house for your pups!

Nina x

Annie Cholewa said...

Newfies are just the most wonderful dogs, even the counter surfers!

Whippets all counter surf ... I reckon that's why they're called whip it's (I have no idea if whip in the US means, among other things, steal, as it does in the UK, hence this explanation).

I loved the poetry Ellen :)

Anonymous said...

I thought you had moths, then I read on, and immediately thought Newfies! They make me laugh, Maisie is very nosy checks out shelves,cupboards etc.. Farley is taller and can just get that nose along the edge to check out the counters! Yours look gorgeous!

Susan T said...

Sorry - so funny. I thought it was goats that would eat anything. However your two are far too gorgeous to be cross with, all that furry love. I would have to sit and cuddle them all day long. Do you have to shut them away while you unpack groceries? I can just imagine the fun they would have with a bag of flour!

Anonymous said...

The poem is brilliant!
i can so relate.

My beloved, departed setter, Obadiah, once nosed aside the glass dome cover of the butter dish on the kitchen counter and liked it completely clean--without breaking a thing! And...sniffed out an 8" solid chocolate Easter bunny from the bottom of a big box left on the floor while going out to do errands. Gratefully, i did not know all those years ago that chocolate can be dangerous for dogs!!

Jackie said...

I love coming here, it always brings a smile to my face! Your poem - just brilliant and clever and perfect! I at first thought the moths had gotten to your napkin or that maybe it was an ink blot test (I see a maple tree branch abloom with helicopters). Beautiful, if ornery Tracker!
Every time I send a package to my brother and the mailman leaves it on the porch their Vizsla eats it. Also I was at their house making homemade macaroni and cheese with my nieces and Chloe (their dog) would snatch the cheese cubes off the counter.
And I don't know if this is TMI (too much information) but our mutt eats dirty tampons. UUUGH!!

Mrs. Micawber said...

I love Newfies - yours look very sweet and cuddly indeed, chewed napkin and purloined peas notwithstanding. :)

I thought at first you had a creatively appliqu├ęd quilt block there....

Great poem parody too! :)

Anonymous said...

Haaaa! Newfies, oh my. My mother-in-law had three at one time. The slobber, oh my goodness. But what gentle giants these dogs are. (And swimmers! With their webbed feet). Such an interesting and charming breed.

Dina (

My name is Erika. said...

She's adorable! Of course she has to leave her mark, eh? Enjoy your blog so am passing on a Leibster Award. Check mine out for the details.

driftwood said...

oh my, almost a pony! counter surfers, love that phrase, my kitties do that, we have to hide the bread too, and once they ate a lemon cake....

Grammy Braxton said...

Love, love, love the dogs and your poem was perfect for the napkin. Puppies are such a delight but I'm not sure how I would handle a 128 lb puppy. :) Our husky is enough for me and he's 75 lbs.