Three guesses as to what this is...
Actually, I should have written,
as to what this was.
Here is a little poem
to help explain,
with apologies to Shelley.
To a Napkin
Hail to thee blithe beauty
Thou who art no more
In the golden morning
I found thee on the floor.
Thee graced the table daily
Thee brightened up the meal
Now thou art so damaged
With holes I cannot seal.
I stitched thee with such pleasure
And pressed thy seams with care
With guilt I do remember
I left thee on the chair.
I used thee with abandon
And dabbed the drops of gruel
The dog she up and ate thee
A fate that was so cruel.
Hail to thee blithe napkin
I'm sad thou art no more
I'll fold thine old companions
And close them in the drawer.
(May be sung with gusto to the very first musical strains of In the Bleak Midwinter, if desired.)
The guilty party is our
Newfie, Tracker.
We have had her for several months
and she came with a warning label...
"Counter Surfer".
She is all of that, and more.
The bread basket is no longer in use.
Bread is now stored in a drawer.
The kitchen trash can is now
a plastic bucket kept under the sink.
May I give you a money making tip?
Buy shares in Duct Tape
as the freezer drawer underneath the frig
now has to be taped closed.
I tried putting a heavy weight
and a dining room chair in front
of that drawer,
but she just moved them to one side
and helped herself
to bags of frozen peas,
pasta and blueberries.
The tape, thus far, is working...
when I don't forget to use it.
She is affectionately referred to
as "Speed Bump" as you
can tell by how big she is.
At 128 pounds, she takes up
a lot of space.
She is, however, the sweetest girl,
without a mean bone
in her body.
As is her darling cousin, Rett..
who sits outside as she tells me,
"I didn't do it. Promise!"
We do love them so.
They are such affectionate
and gentle beings
who enrich our lives.
Wishing all a glorious week.
Ellen.
