Sunday, September 29, 2013

Dear Ones

Dear Readers,
I want to thank you for your generous support, your goodness,
graciousness and your loving words sent my way.
I am finding it hard to express
my gratitude and the feeling of warmth
and comfort I have received from you.
We all struggle at times, I do know that.
I hope that I could and would do the same
in return to all of you.
I am doing much better.
I know that I may never, ever understand my beloved brother
when I talk to him on the phone.
Strokes happen.
I went up last Saturday
to see my sister.
It was a good visit,
but the onset of dementia is frightening.
Disappearing ink covers the pages
of so many collective memories...
and who will be left to read them with me?
It has been both difficult
and wonderful to be back at school, 
but who can comfort a mother
who's son was involved in an accidental shooting
with a hunting rifle...
and the same person who lost her sister-in-law
two days later. She was also a friend
and had worked in my school office for years.
I had all of their children in my classroom.
And, my feral kitty, "No Ears",
who has been here for several years,
the one who finally came close enough
to my hand when I fed him...
to feel his soft (tho. ratty) fur
brush up against my hand.
He must have crawled up into my car,
because the next day 
I drove to the post office...
at a distance of nearly seven miles.
When I stopped, I saw a grey streak
run out from under the car.
I knew at once what had happened.
Tears all the way home
and the feeling of such responsibility.
There is a part of me
that keeps hoping he will turn up.
It's the heart part..the brain knows better.
So, enough here about sadness
and heartache.
I am so behind on reading
and leaving comments,
and I have this silly feeling
that I should never post
until I have left a message of thanks to all of you.
I will stop soon and leave you with
some lovely photos of the sky
at my sister's.
And, guess what?
I took them with my phone!
I have never done that before.
Also, if you have blueprints for building an ark,
please send them my way.
It has been an absolute gully-washer
for the last two days
and I am not happy with Mother Nature
who is ruining the colors of my favorite time of year.
Love times ten, E.
Here are the clouds. 
I hope you enjoy them.

Again and again,
you have eased my heart.
I have been reminded that we
are here for such a short time
and that time is filled with such beauty
along with some pain.
It is the human condition,
but aren't we blessed to hold that which is lovely
and comforting and surprising and wonderful?
Such life filled with wonders
and thankfulness, and the beauty
of the world with clouds, rain, sunshine,
color, warmth and.............
E. with so many xoxoxox's

Sunday, September 15, 2013


Sometimes you don't know what to write.
Sometimes too much awfulness happens.
Sometimes it concerns your brother
and your sister,
the loves of your growing up...
whom you are losing,
and the disappearance of a beloved cat.
Sometimes it concerns the loves
of your working life..
Twenty three teaching years
in the small town..
Twenty three years 
out of thirty plus
in the classroom.
So much loss in the last few weeks.
I have tried to write about it,
but I just cannot.
It is my story, but not my story.
Many children who were in my classroom,
and most of all
my beloved teaching partner,
have gone through so much.
I don't know what to do,
except be there for them.
I am back in the classroom every Tuesday
to read stories and do art projects.
For me, I pull up photos
that give me comfort,
and I am spending time
with D. in the Grasmere Journals.
I am pressing leaves
and gathering all Fallish things..
knitting mindless things..
I am baking bread and making cheese...
and, I am giving thanks to you,
Dear Readers, for being with me.

And, I am hoping to be back soon.
Oh, and yes and yes...
I saw the otters the other day while crossing the bridge.
Spirit lifting it was.
A reminder that goodness comes
even when times are just so hard.
Love, so much to all of you,