Sunday, November 9, 2008

A Short Sunday Story......


.....because it is all too slippy-sloppy in Mother Nature's larder for a Sunday Stroll.


CHAPTER ONE, in which our four year old martyr refused to give up her pennies in Sunday School.
Every Sunday her gentle mother would load her three children into the car to deliver them into the pious hands of their respective Sunday School teachers, leaving their daddy behind at home...which if you have read any of the entries here about him, you would conclude that leaving Daddy at home ALONE, was a risky and somewhat dangerous move.
Every Sunday this little girl would have her hair carefully brushed, a ribbon tied on, a clean dress wrestled onto her wriggling little body, and wonders of wonders, a pair of sandals on those normally bare feet. Pennies would be tied up into her hankie for the collection plate. (Therese Defarge??)
It was that collection plate, with its gaping and
greedy mouth that caused such anxiety for this small person. What the reader does not know about her, is that each and every Sunday she wanted, she hoped, she prayed in her selfish four year old mind, to escape the confines of Sunday School with her pennies unsullied and still in the grip of her tightly tied handkerchief. She had plans for those pennies and those plans did not involve supporting the church, sending rice or Bibles to impoverished children; she wanted those pennies to spend at Kam Fui's store on the way home. She wanted to buy herself and ice cream cone. The fact that they rarely stopped at the store had no effect on her inherent greediness.
Week after week she would refuse to relinquish those shiny little coins, and week after week she would, in the end, heave a huge and dramatic sigh, get up out of her little chair, stomp her four year old feet across the ocean of linoleum and throw those pennies into the collection plate with a dramatic, "There!" It was her own personal Green Mile.
The writer of this tale does not remember how many times this was repeated, but she does remember very clearly what happens in Chapter Two.

CHAPTER TWO, in which our devious and conniving small person ends it all.
The three children are loaded into the car. The loving mother drives off, and perhaps because of distractions, fatigue or inattention, waits until the family is within close proximity to the church, and asks in her gentle voice, "Is everyone ready?" The older sister and brother respond affirmatively. The four year old small and devious person looks down, pulls up the skirt of her dress and shouts out happily, "OOPS!" to reveal that she has no underpants on.
Oh, Joyful, Joyful, Hallelujah and Amen!! It is too late to both turn around, go back home, put those panties on and then make it to Sunday School in time.
The car is turned around, it does wend its way home, but it is far too late to proceed back to church. It is her finest hour in her selfish little brain and it is the last time she remembers going to Sunday School, the last time that she will hoard her pennies.

EPILOGUE: Several years later she will begin accompanying her grandmother to the Episcopal Church in downtown Honolulu. She will no longer begrudge her pennies, but she will spend her time on her knees, next to her grandmother and offering up this prayer: "Please God, I want Gramma to take me out to lunch."

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11 comments:

PG said...

LOL!!! Any prizes for guessing who this is? I like her attitude, though I am sure she became much more generous in later life! :)
Golly, if only not wearing any underwear could get us adults out of things that easily...

Heather said...

You have to love the brilliant mind of a devious child...beautiful!

fridastar said...

oh I love that story!!!!
Come to my blog and answer some questions please!!!!

henny said...

Haha...interesting story, Ellen.
You know what... I think most of kids feel like that when they should put their money at Sunday school. I did...hahaha....

Btw, why don't you make a "Follower" section at your blog. Just go to the "Layout". I did make a request (to your blog) to be your follower. So When I open my dashboard I could read your updated post, no need to open your blog. Take care Ellen.

henny said...

Haha...interesting story, Ellen.
You know what... I think most of kids feel like that when they should put their money at Sunday school. I did...hahaha....

Btw, why don't you make a "Follower" section at your blog. Just go to the "Layout". I did make a request (to your blog) to be your follower. So When I open my dashboard I could read your updated post, no need to open your blog. Take care Ellen.

jacquie said...

a great story. you had me giggling uncontrollably with part 2! (pretty cute picture too!)

Nora Bee said...

Ha ha ha!! A lovely tale, no doubt felt by many. We never went to church when I was small, but would have racked my little brain to avoid parting with my pennies too.

Monica said...

Ha, ha! Not only the story is good, but the way you telling it is fantastic, and the picture is so cute.

robyn said...

I LOVE THIS!!!!

Jackie said...

Oh Ellen, you've made my day!! But I'm certainly not letting the boys read this, they may get ideas!
This is going to have me chuckling all day long! When I was a kid we would stay in our beds as long as possible on Sundays praying that the dreaded hour would come and go without our parents shuffling us to church. And if we were up and about we would try to stay out of their line of sight, again praying that they would "forget" about going to church.

ellen said...

Thank you everyone.